est. 1987

Fatty McFatFat

I am under my new Snuggie. Looking quite sexy might I say.

I get to go out tomorrow for a second dinner. As I dressed up today, something that results in me wishing I didn’t have a button on my pants afterward, I plan on wearing sweats. Sweat shirt. Jeans. Mm. There will be much feasting tomorrow: Ham tomorrow. Roasted chicken tonight. I’m not used to having two dinners but yeah – wow. I’m looking forward to it though we did down two large bottles of wine tonight so our alcohol choice is beer.

It must be a miserable time of the year for people actually watching their weight at this time of the year. *snort* Mm, good food. Poor unfortunate dieting souls. As for me? Time to enjoy a food comma. Goodnight folks. Merry Christmas.


You know, I haven’t been sleeping all that much these last couple of days. I stand corrected: I don’t sleep at night. Not until around 5 AM. It leaves me a little perturbed really and mom flustered. I do have something to blame: Slender Man.

Why I’m only frightened at night, when the photos taken of this internet-provided freak out were taken during the day is beyond me. I suppose I never really got along with night time, period. Maybe looking at the Fuel Fetish on TVTropes was a stupid idea. Okay, so it was a stupid idea. Has it stopped me from going back and looking at other pages? Dear God no. In fact I have another window open with around 10 tabs. After clicking some of them out.

This is RIDICULOUS though. I enjoy being online. I enjoy talking, writing, and reading and that’s what the internet gives me. How I ever survived without it I don’t know. I read more paperbacks, that’s for sure. Now I just reserve the tree killing to the coal burning. I don’t know which is worse. Pfff. I’m tired though, because even though I get sleep it’s at the expense of staying up so it off-balances everything.


…I think I’ve fooled myself into somehow being okay with Mr. Slenderman. After I hunt down the bastard that made him up I’m going to have an octopus attack him. Tentacles, donchaknow? I’ve also started calling him my homeboy. Like Jesus and Santa. I’ve decided that if he’s in my good graces I’ll let him skulk by my side as we take over the world.

So much for a cheery holiday entry, right?

Ho, Ho, Ho.

I’ve finally found acceptance of the holiday season. No, I haven’t chanced listening to the radio since Thanksgiving (which makes me realize how I need new music and bad. Lap 200 of Sugarland’s first album isn’t quite as shiny as the first 40). I have however slapped on an animated string of lights to my Firefox. Bah humbug to you, too. Not to mention I was saddened by the acute lack of Christmas tree I have this year. Since the cats have come around we’re too weary of them tearing up the fiber optics to drag the thing out of the basement.

Either that or mom wanted me to drag it out and just never informed me. Ah, well.

Wow, I’m broke. I’m broke and I didn’t even buy gifts. Just standard bills have put me under and sent me into that infamous sneaky hate spiral that makes me want to move to Russia. My ‘death’, as it is planned, may have it in the stars for me. …Maybe not; maybe just in the nearby fortune cookie factory. Whilst over at my godmother’s (to fix my screen) we had Chinese. My first cookie had “Your feet will touch the soil of many foreign lands”. If only, I thought wistfully. I want to travel. See everything. Be flighty (a kind word for avoidant) but have it be a productive means. A bit later I reached for the last cookie. I got the same fortune.

…Who needs ‘third time’s a charm’ when the second is simply so promising?

Many soils, eh? Maybe a trip with Santa will do the trick?

Why So Serious?


Sorry folks for the lack of updating (apparently people do read this. shocker every time.). Let me explain some of the possible reasons for this sit’iation.


  • Lack of motivation! That’s right, something that would have been an adequate means of procrastination in the past has bored me. I’m working on remedying that though.
  • Er, well… I forgot which one of my obscure passwords belonged to this journal. Then I was too lazy to request for a lost-password email to an email account I rarely use, thus it takes 3 misfires before logging in correctly due to THAT password slipping my mind.
  • Nothing to really say. My life has been pretty dull guys. No, really.

With that relatively short list I bring you an entry. About…hm. Let me look at a generator or something for ide–Nevermind. Christmas.


Growing up, Christmas used to be one of my favorite holidays. We had the tree, the presents, the dinner and the gleeful anticipation of leaving Santa some diabetes inducing cookies and milk. There came a time when it wasn’t so easy to get the tree, or as many presents. Dinner was smaller. Santa got cookies everywhere else and really, for the good sake of everyone’s happiness we do want the chap to live. Ho, ho, ho. Despite all of this, Christmas is a time I hold dear to me.

Well. There is one thing that really pisses me off: the timing.

I’m not talking about the idea of it being a Pagan based holiday or how Jesus was really born during another time of the year and that whole controversy. No. That’s too ‘religious debate’ for me when I’m merely being a snarky trollop wanting to vent. What I mean about the timing is that it keeps coming earlier each year! The music, the decorations, the sales. Earlier, and earlier.

Christmas is getting downright malignant and not in the sunshine/rainbow/happy spreading way. During work (sob, they need to give me hours…just sayin’), well before Thanksgiving by more than a week, the store was playing Christmas music over the intercom. There were Christmas decorations everywhere. One of the customers laughingly said “Well, this is how you know we’ve forgotten Thanksgiving, huh?” in regards to the whole lot.

And we have. We’ve made Christmas so commercialized that it’s for the better interest that we spread it thin as far as it can go. Hey, guys! I DON’T DIG MARIAH CAREY YOWLING ‘I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS’. Knowing how Christmas is spreading the bitch’ll be at your inlaw’s for a month loitering about asking for your food. Does that sound fun? NO.

I used to love Christmas because it meant being with family. Being broke a good amount of the time it takes very little material things to please me. I really am quite happy with not getting anything for Christmas because guess what? Unless it’s something that is edible it’ll only sit around. My room has enough stuff in it. And yet…ugh, the COMMERCIALS advertising things. Smart phones, Blue Ray, more and more little gadgets. On repeat. Indefinitely. I actually have a rant about smart phones and 14 year olds having them but that’s not Christmas.

…Actually, upon further thought “14 year olds having smart phones that’ll be torn asunder” is quite Christmas-y. Nowadays, anyway.


Why such a joyous holiday has to look so bleak is beyond me. Use some other holiday like “hug day” to stimulate the economy. Imagine all of the business in the prostitution ring you could get on “Hug day”! A clever ploy on words paired off with an appropriate “ho ho ho” could have it be a perfect stand-in, don’t you think?

Hanover Times.

Bad Jackie, no update.

I am currently sitting on the couch in Sig as I write this. Certainly this can mean only one thing: I’ve been abducted by aliens and they weren’t gentle with the probing. The aliens need to understand that just because they saw a few S&M flicks while researching Earthlings that not all of us enjoy that activity so vigorously.

No, no. No probing for me. It does mean that I’m in Hanover for the weekend though! I figured a nice update was in order…

The drive down was a good one. Fairly uneventful, but that’s what happens when you’re driving down Indiana. Flat. FLAT. It was sunny though, so that was better than anything. I got here before dinner time. Drove near Sig. Jeff was outside. Promptly pulled over and did a slo-mo run and embrace. Twice.

After going to a friend’s I went toward the UG. Saw my old group of friends sitting in the UG as usual. Got tackled a few times there. Then I got sat on …thrice. Hm. Then I was assaulted by Aubray’s boobs when she ran toward me again, for like the 3rd time. I was offered a job down here lightly…

But you know, everyone I know up north would SLAY me if I moved down here.

I went and got to watch some anime with the anime club and Hocus Pocus back here on my computer. I promptly fell asleep during considering it was like 1:30 and I’d been up since 7:45. Ugh, I didn’t need to be up that eeeeaaaaarly.

Tonight is the Halloween party. Should be fun.


Why am I writing about a date that hasn’t happened yet? Doesn’t that seem, well, counterproductive?


…It’s all going according to plan. This isn’t my first journal/blog/posting-hutch kiddos. I’ve had one since I was 15 and damn, I’ve been filling up the interwebs with teenage wangst, lamenting, and silly little joys since. So a simple pre-date entry isn’t going to hurt. I don’t date much, so they don’t come often! Suck it up.

It looks like it’s going to be a nice day today. A bit chilly. I have some errands to run beforehand. Get gas (Oh God, might end up PUSHING my Bart there), go apply at a check cashing place that desperately needs someone, then Dollar General, and clean up.

Apparently I have too many bits and bobs around the couch and they NEED TO GO. Which means somehow sticking it all in my room without having the cats attack it. We know I can’t shove it on my dresser of all things. Right now I’m watching Jerry make a fool of herself. My cats are so damned enthusiastic.

Note that I’ve not mentioned my pending date? I …well, my oh my, am of course nervous. It’s just a coffee date to chit chat and see how that works out. Then if it works out he’s invited me to go bowling the next day since that’s his bowling time. More play, less stress. Yeah. Trust me, I’m excited. I plan on getting there like, 30 minutes early so he has to come up to me. And cheekily read my Harry Potter while I wait. Cheek. I have it. Maybe.

I think I’m going to bring ice breaker questions since we’re both shy… I don’t want it to be incredibly awkward. haha

Looks like my kittens are wrestling. That means I should enjoy my Top Gear and other things that aren’t stressful. Part II later.


Good news comes in odd ways for me. I got a job, well, assuming that I passed the training period with flying colors.

I worked my ass off. I got let go. Despite this, I’m not bitter. I still support the cause. I support my now ex-coworkers. I respect my ex-bossman.

I don’t hold a grudge because I’m taking away a positive experience. It was a first-time employment opportunity and I had one of the BETTER ones I could have ever asked for. It all comes down to me not getting up to speed in time to prove I could work there long-term. So, with a work reference that swears he’ll say wonderful things about me (I mean, I really did work quite hard), I’ll write about what I liked about it.


The workers were amazing and welcoming. They were knowledgeable. Bossman was cool and friendly, not to mention honest. Would I do it again? Yes, I would. I would donate to the cause even.


I’m a shy person but was showing improvement. I did have a hard first day and I was ill the third. So the numbers weren’t in it for me. My final day I needed 100. I got 60, but wow. That’s an improvement for me. I spoke to over 50 people in one night. Got 20 signatures toward the cause. I simply wish I had one more day. I would have even done it unpaid, just to prove myself.

…In the end though I understand. Can’t say that I’m too worried about interviewing for new jobs when I’ve gotten this under my belt. If you knew me in school you would know that I’m HORRIBLY bad with talking to strangers or getting the point across in words. I’ve improved, and I’ve improved in a short amount of time. If I can speak to over 100 strangers in a few days then damn, I know I can talk to ONE.

Keep your fingers crossed, I know I am. I know I’ll make someone a good employee.