est. 1987


Oh dear… Do I have to renew my driver’s license this year? Not to mention my tags expire on my birthday as well. Thank you, BMV. Happy birthday to me, too. Anywho, another exciting opportunity for a mugshot to be taken without me getting arrested is fast approaching. In an attempt to be on top of things mom is dragging me out to slaughter tomorrow.

I heard we’re not allowed to smile in pictures anymore. I thought my current picture was awkward enough with the bad hair. I remember how Drawing I went when we did those portraits, okay? It was horrific and I looked 2 seconds away from donning a wife beater stained in beer and other things (we’ll say pizza sauce) on an episode of COPS. Unsmiling is NOT an option for me. Maybe I should look smarmy as well while I’m at it just to continue with the effect.

One would think my attitude is the only thing keeping me from being truly successful. I think one needs to appreciate sarcasm more.


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